Wednesday, October 17, 2012

?????????

Life has been so crazy. I have been rushed from one thing to the next with a set of nearly permanent handicaps. You see I am not a person who likes to sit around and do nothing. I need a challenge or...or...or... something!! I always rush forward I always look for some one to help. I hate being alone for more than a day or two at a time. I need something to drive me forward. I charge head first into things and now I have people telling me that I am their role model!! HAHA! Can you see that? A group of guys basing how they act and do stuff based on what I do?!?! AHHH!!

And every one says I am such a natural leader. Sure a strict one, a tough one who expects the best out of his other leaders, but they say a natural one. I have people within a week, barely knowing me making such statements as "I would trust my life to you." That scares me to no ends of this planet or universe!! I have people willing to put their lives in my hands! What am I supposed to do? GAH RAH! I...I...I...I am expected to lead and know what to do, on how to do things, what direction the group needs to take. Sure I am the ASB president, I have six years of general knowledge, I have been in positions from Secretary  to Presidents. I have been to two leadership camps, in the space of one summer, one was about PERSONAL and the other groups and servant leadership. I have been to four church camps, I have been a mentor/youthleader off and on for a year now.

I have experienced allot in life. More than most 17 year old guys ever should, no boy at 15 should have to step up and raise his two younger siblings. To lose hair and try to find a job, to hear his old man say "I am leaving because of you" But yet somehow I survived! I am hear still yelling, still starring down the world saying "BRING IT ON!!" I am only smarter and stronger because of this and the biggest thing in my life?! GOD! I would be nothing without the eternal love of God and Jesus Christ. I was going down dark paths and only reason I am alive, is God put some amazing people in my life and had them step in and make huge changes for me.

I was, by threat of kidnapping mind you, asked to go to youth group  So I went. I thought it was the biggest scam on the planet, such a hoax and lie. Than I met a few guys, and a few more, than I met the youth pastor. After a couple weeks, I started talking to the girls, or they me, I am still confused. And than I began to attend church. All to shut up my christian friends. But life changes slowly.

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